Cute Erotic Snails – Day one in Prague

After the excellent free tour we did in Berlin we decided to go with Sandeman again in Prague. The tour began at 11 am in Prague square, less than a 5-minute walk from our hostel. This tour was even better than the last, our tour guide Kate was terrific, if incredibly odd. She was very enthusiastic and managed to turn a lecture about Czech history into a performance piece.

We learned about the astronomical clock, Charles Bridge, the opera house that Mozart first performed John Don in, the tower and the Jewish quarter. Along with a colourful plethora of history about the city and Czech inventions such as sugar cubes and contact lenses. I couldn’t recommend this tour more and particularly our tour guide Kate, who suggested lots of places for us to eat in the city.


The walking tour lasted three hours, ending next to the Charles bridge. We decided to cross it and explore the other side for a while. Prague is a beautiful and colourful city. There is so much to see and do, so wondering around it didn’t take us long to stumble upon something, the John Lennon wall.


We also found ourselves in Kampala park, which is surrounded by terrifying baby alien statues, much to all of our confusion. Which we ended up googling the meaning of and they are supposed to symbolise The communist era and their inability to reach adulthood.


After this, we went to explore Kampala island, which on Sundays hosts a market. The market was fun to walk around for a while with lots of food stalls and live music (even if it was some strange rock). There were even pedalos to rent and sail up the river.


We stopped off for a late lunch at the restaurant the tour guide had recommended which was nice, but we hit a lot of language barriers trying to order. Harrie ended up with a duck in a boat. We were all slightly put off our food by the couple behind us who clearly needed to get a room and were glued to each other.


After this, we decided to visit the sex museum. Prague sex museum is by one of the strangest places I’ve ever been in my life. Admission was a little overpriced, 250 Czech crowns which are about £7.70. But if you’ve never been anywhere like this before it’s undoubtedly an experience. The displays were hilarious, random and varied from the teddy bear dildo to the animatronic pornographic dolls house.


The funniest part of all of this were the descriptions and diagrams accompanying the displays.


This was described as an old condom holder with cute erotic snails, one sentence that should never be put together.

The cinema downstairs featured the first-ever filmed threesome. We entered apprehensively wanting to make the most of our money. This was hands down one of the weirdest experiences of my life. Watching a black and white silent film in a dark room full of strangers, while to very large women did some strange things to each other, after which the gardener joined in, with the husband watching. It was so far from sexy that it was pretty funny. But as more men entered the room, we felt increasingly uncomfortable and decided it was time to leave this odd museum.
In the evening our hostel was putting on a free ghost tour, we just had enough time to make dinner and shower before the tour. However, ten minutes before it was supposed to begin, we found out it had been cancelled. The tour guide had a family emergency. Instead of trying to find something to do last minute on a Sunday night, we just went back to the square to see what it was like at night. Busy as ever and full of people we were hassled by a variety of creepy salesman one of whom was trying to convince Beth to go on his Segway tour, when she refused he rode off and whispered he loved her. Then a guy asked Lucy if she was going out and she replied with yes but not with you, the look on his face was priceless. If you’re looking for a place to sit and watch the world go by Prague square is ideal any time of day.


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